Matchmakers - who are they? The meaning of the words "matchmaker" and "pile". Wedding ceremony
Since ancient times, the ritual of matchmaking was considered a kind of "purchase" of the bride. This ceremony was held in high esteem by many peoples and was held in several stages. In the article we will consider who are such matchmakers, what is the meaning of the word "matchmaker", "svia" and the order of the matchmaking.
Matchmaking: the purpose of the rite
A wedding is an important event in the life of any person. And the traditional wedding is preceded by an equally important ritual of matchmaking. Unfortunately, in today's world there is so little room for tradition. But it is in them reflects the soul of the people, its mentality.
In a long time, matchmakers could send even unfamiliar bride people, parents, in turn, could induce her to marry, if the bridegroom, in their opinion, suited her daughter. Therefore, during the matchmaking, the fate of the girl was practically decided. Now, the wedding ceremony is formal, it is conducted either to meet parents, or to discuss the details of the upcoming wedding. It even happens that they refuse it at all, especially if the future husband and wife organize the wedding themselves.
Matchmaking is the age-old tradition of the Slavs. The concepts of "matchmaker", "svia", "matchmaker"
Before we find out who the matchmaker and svia are, let's remember who the matchmaker is. Many do not remember what the difference is between "matchmaker" and "pile". That's with an explanation of these concepts and should start.
Matchmaker (if it is a woman) - this is a person who professionally engaged in the device of marriage. Sometimes they not only helped to marry a bride, but also selected candidates.
Svya is the mother of one of the spouses in relation to the mother of another.
But the meaning of the word "matchmaker" is a bit more complicated. Swat is both a "vault", and a relative of one of the spouses in relation to the relatives of the other. This treatment of the newlyweds' parents to each other is a sign of respect and disposition. Etymologically, the word "matchmakers" and the word "own" have one basis. And in the tradition of the Slavic peoples such treatment is a symbol of the fusion of two peoples.
Preparation for matchmaking
When the groom's parents found out that their son was going to marry, they tried as much as possible to find out about his chosen one. During the inquiries were interested not only in the reputation of the girl herself, but also in her relatives. They learned about the financial situation of the family. It has long been believed that the bride is taken not for an individual guy, but for the whole family. And this means that she must become a worthy member of the family. After this, the matchmakers were sent - these are some kind of intermediaries between the two families. The girl's family, in turn, was preparing a dowry-the property with which the young wife would move into the home of the spouse. It could be bed linen, shirts, household items, ornaments. It was accumulated from the birth of the girl and was her property even after marriage. If it was a question of merchant families, then the dowry included money. The nobility often attached real estate to the girl.
Who acted as matchmakers
The matchmakers mission was honorable and very important. Matchmakers are the people who negotiated. It had to be done delicately. Direct speech was avoided, all statements were in the form of allegories. The bride's parents could be against marriage. In this case, matchmakers needed to give weighty arguments in favor of the groom, but not to persuade - it was considered a bad omen.
In ancient times, sent elders - wise and respected people. In some localities, priests were wedded. But often the delegation included the parents of the groom, the godfather, professional matchmaker or matchmaker (in Russia men were wooing, and in Ukraine and Belarus this role was performed by women), other relatives could participate. All the participants in the procession were supposed to be family people. And their marriage is strong and happy.
Signs accompanying the wedding ceremony
Now you know who the matchmakers are. There are a lot of signs associated with matchmaking, here are some of them:
- the most successful day was considered Thursday. And on Wednesday and Friday it was not accepted to get involved. The reason is that these days are lean (on Wednesday Judas sold Christ, and on Friday there was a crucifixion). If you look rationally, then these days there is simply nothing to treat the visitors. And the ethical side was of great importance for our ancestors;
- weddings went in the evening. In order to avoid the evil eye. There is also a more rational explanation: if matchmakers want to keep it a secret, for example, in case of refusal - in the evening fewer people, therefore, less chance to be noticed;
- Before leaving the house, the matchmaker puts his hands on the stove. Such an action was to guarantee a successful outcome of matchmaking;
- On the way to the bride's house matchmakers were forbidden to talk;
- The only one who brought luck was considered to be a girl carrying clean water;
- It was necessary to close the doors on the bolt as soon as matchmakers came into the house. This was done in order to avoid uninvited guests;
- going into the house, the matchmaker or the father of the groom knocked on the threshold three times with his left heel. At the same time they said the words: "They are silent (they talked about their ancestors - the keeper of the clan), and you are silent, do not say a word against it";
- The hats of the matchmaker were not removed until they were invited to the table;
- one of the matchmakers had to contrive to steal the spoon from the bride's parents. This provided the future husband with the domination of the family. And the wife should be faithful and obedient. Three months after the wedding, the spoon had to be secretly brought back;
- if the girl is a matchmaker for the first time, advised to cover up tracks, saying: "On your trail will go to me a hundred suitors";
- You can only be invited until the end of April. Wedding and wedding in May, a bad omen. This promises the married couple a family life full of scandals;
- if the parents of the bride and matchmakers agreed, after the guests left, the young mother bound the poker and the hook.
Having learned who such matchmakers are, we will start to consider the ritual of matchmaking. Usually the matchmakers were sent several times. At the first meeting, it was customary to refuse, even if the bride's family agreed to a marriage. It was considered a bad tone to give the girl the first time. In addition, the postponement provided an opportunity to learn more about the groom's relatives, if the families were not familiar with this before. It was also believed that after the first groom we can expect the next, more profitable. The first matchmaking was formal. It could not
take part parents of the groom.
When they met the matchmakers for the second time, it was customary to cover a rich table. In the house candles were lit, icons were placed near the icons. Necessarily attended the parents of the groom, and sometimes he himself. If the bride was present at the matchmaking, she was seated separately from the alleged husband. Negotiations were conducted with the girl's father. Opinion of the girl did not ask. It was believed that such issues should be solved by wise parents. Happened in a different way, it depended on the way of the individual family.
If the matchmakers received a positive response, immediately began preparing for the wedding.
The date of the marriage was chosen. Families discussed the contribution that each side would make to the organization of the long-awaited event. Solved the question of redemption. It could be clothes, a valuable thing or money. In this situation, it was customary to bargain.
When everything was decided, the bride's relatives lit a candle and together with the young representatives held a divine service. So the agreement on the union was cemented.