How do you tell a guy that we break up? 6 rules of parting with a former guy and 7 important tips of a psychologist
Meeting with a young man no longer bring joy? Did you understand that your relationship came to a logical conclusion? Maybe it's time to leave. In parting there is nothing terrible, because it is much worse to stay with a person, knowing that you will never be happy with him. Yes, and he needs to build a relationship with another girl.
However, sometimes parting is much more difficult than finding your other half. It is not surprising that many young ladies are interested in how to tell a guy that we are parting. There are many options, you just need to choose the most suitable one.
Do I have to part?
“Do not chop off the shoulder!” - this saying should be remembered when the thought of parting with a former lover came into your head.
Perhaps now it seems to you that the only way out of this situation is to break the relationship.However, after looking carefully, you will understand that the problems are not so critical. Emotionality is not the best adviser in such matters.
Every person has its flaws, and your boyfriend is no exception. However, it also hides numerous advantages - those qualities that:
- once struck you on the spot;
- forced to lose my head;
- still still hold close to him.
Check with your close friends who know your boyfriend well. Another opinion about this will never be over. And when you cool off, you may realize that yesterday they just got excited.
In addition, do not forget that the conversation about the separation - this is the last step to the end of the relationship. You do not need to use this method to tease your partner, get his attention, make him jealous. Manipulation is not the best way to get what you need from a man.
Thus, start talking about the end of a relationship only when you are absolutely convinced that you want to leave the guy.And if you firmly decided to pull with a frank conversation should not be. Let everything be decided as soon as possible.
How to tell a guy about breaking up?
Of course, the easiest way to communicate with a man is to write him a text message or a message in one of the social networks. It is simpler and easier for you, because you will not have to look into your favorite eyes before and say all these not the most joyful words, knowing that you are expected by numerous questions and clarification of relationships. All you do is type the text, click "send" and turn off the cellular or go online.
Is it possible to do that? Not. It’s impossible to write and forget about a person anyway, besides, imagine his condition when at work or studying he receives a message with unexpected content: “Sorry, we are not a couple. We'd better break up. ”
Put yourself in the shoes of a young man. What would you feel at that moment?
So, we understood that writing about parting is the easiest, but most undesirable method of breaking. What are the rules for constructively ending a love relationship?
- No need to postpone a serious conversation. Parting for both of you will be even harder if you pretend that everything is in order. The young man is likely to feel your coldness, and this fact will bring him additional suffering.Have you decided firmly? Tell them you want to leave him. However, there is one “but”: there is no need to kill a man, if he already has a difficult period - the death of a loved one or family problems.
- Choose the right place. Conduct a serious conversation in the "neutral" territory, which your partner does not associate with something pleasant or, on the contrary, negative. The best option is a cafe or park unfamiliar before. Well, if at this time there will not be noisy companies.
- Speak to yourself the forthcoming explanation. Focus on a few very specific sentences, clearly showing that there is no way back. Blurry phrases like “I don’t fit you” or “you are too good for someone like me” is not the best way. It is necessary to speak honestly and convincingly about the reason for separation, but without details (especially if you met another man).
- Try to control emotions. If the guy is too quick-tempered, you should not suddenly throw out his decision on his head. If a man begins to put pressure on pity or conscience, do not give in. Skip past accusations and accusations of heartlessness and heartlessness.
- Do not reassure.Remember that everything is over, so it should not be an uncertain tone or lengthy speeches to give a man hope, saying that you still think or give him a chance to correct. Let the guy start rebuilding the relationship without looking back at you.
- Ignore him after the break. Staying friends is not the best solution. Even worse - continue to communicate via SMS or social networks. Try not to remind yourself for several months. Most likely, you will not have to meet common friends for a while.
The final decision on separation is a serious and painful step. The break in relations is unpleasant both to the one who is left and to the initiator. And yet it is in your power to reduce the passions and reduce the pain of separation. So, if you irrevocably decided to part with your beloved, follow the following recommendations of psychologists.
- As we have said, it is necessary to communicate this news to the guy first and always personally. Exclude SMS, messages in social networks, e-mail and faceless call. No stranger should know about your decision before you reveal all the cards to your man.
- If you are painfully hard to utter the words "forgive, forgive", you can write a note in which you state your feelings and apologies. However, you must again hand it over to your ex-beloved in person.
- It often happens that after a break up, the former boyfriend starts to write you a text message or email with threats or warnings about what will end his life if you do not return to him. If the threat is addressed to you, report it to the competent authorities. In the case of blackmail suicide, be firm - now he is responsible for his further fate.
- Under no circumstances allow yourself to express negative opinions about the ex-boyfriend, to reveal his secrets. The stronger you hold the tongue behind your teeth, the better you will look in the eyes of others. In addition, all of a sudden you have to face the former lover.
- Do not blame yourself for parting and wilted feelings. Sometimes parting is starting a new life, giving yourself and another person a chance to become happier. Attract the idea that you have entered the path that will lead you to happiness and to meet a new man.
- Try for a while to reduce contacts with common friends.In conversation with them, involuntarily (or deliberately) will slip information about the former lover. In addition, inevitable and accidental or deliberate meetings with the ex-partner, which will not add you positive emotions. Communication with your close friends is not necessary to reduce! You need their support and understanding.
- The most important advice - do not disappear, do not start a new relationship, not having time to part with the old man. Lack of explanation is the worst way to complete a novel. Be courageous and decent, dotting all points above i. A clear conscience will be a great help when you start to arrange your life.
Yes, a break in relations is not a festive event, however, it’s also not worth making the end of the world out of it. Keep your emotions to yourself, prepare for the conversation and spend it so that the former young man does not regret his love for you.